Caws Radio

I Love ASIMO's Ass

While America is still proud of My Pal 2 as its most advanced humanoid robot, Honda of Japan has ASIMO, an astronaut-looking robot that knows over 100 words (that's still less than Furby...), can recognize human faces and mimics human movements. So what is this robot used for? Well, um, he stars in car commercials, goes on world tours, and recently rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. But what really sets this 3P0 unit apart from other droids is that ASIMO has his own job. That's right, the robot is working as a receptionist, welcoming people to department stores and company buldings and making $280,000 a year.

I'm sure ASIMO is very proud of himself. You know you're a true humanoid when someone makes you get a job. It all makes sense, though; after doing some commercials and touring for a while, ASIMO probably started spending all his days watching TV and eating Pocky. Finally a Honda technician walked in to find him lounging on the couch, and said "Christ, ASIMO, get a job or something."

I also think it's great that the most advanced humanoid in the world gets a job usually given to beligerent old people. I'm sure standing, lifting his hand and saying "Irassyaimase" is utilizing his multi-million-dollar programming to its best potential. But hell! I love the guy anyway. He's out makin a buck, payin his dues, and representin in the face of Sony's SDR4 robot ("He's wack!" says ASIMO. Probably.)

That's all for today.