Caws Pobi is listening to Honky Chateau by Elton John. He feels like he's always known the album, even though he just discovered most of it a month ago. In fact, he wishes he had made Honky Chateau himself. Oh well. Now he doesn't have to.
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Thursday, February 23, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
cartoons that kill!
I usually don't cover political issues on this blog unless they deal with chocolate cities, but this whole business with the Mohammed Cartoon War has struck a chord with me, because dammit, I'm a cartoonist.
Naturally I wanted to see what all the rhubarb was about, so I went to Google image search and typed in 'mohammed caricature.' Instead of yielding the said caricature, the search brought up a bunch of photos of angry people, including this guy:
Though it may be a little funny, this is not a caricature, as least not the one I was looking for. So I specified a little more, and eventually found the offending cartoon. Can I run this here? Aw, hell with it:
That's it? This is what people are dying over? It isn't even funny. And it's not like anyone actually uses those big, round, Looney-Toon bombs anymore. But this is what bugs me about political/editorial cartoons. There is a golden rule that goes like this: if you want to piss someone off, draw a diety and then throw in something offensive, like, say, drugs or prostitutes or bombs. So this guy does it, and then gets a whole shitload of joke-validation from the people he set out to offend. "How dare you show a bomb in the hat of our lord!! We will...uh...bomb you!!"
But it's not just the bomb that dropped this proverbial...uh, bomb. The word of the day is iconoclasm, kids, such as what went down in the Byzantine days. It's written in stone somewhere (and I think it actually is) that the Prophet Mohammed's "lifeless image" cannot be depicted anywhere, be it in paintings, statues, or crappy cartoons. So what happens if a non-Muslim scribbles out a drawing of the prophet (sporting a bomb) and gets the drawing published in several newspapers? Well, this:
Is this how religions are supposed to work? At times like this I remember when I went to see the Dalai Llama in Portland, and he was all "Peace and compassion. Let's all just tolerate and celebrate. Love your brothas and sistas. Aaaww yeeeeaah." Then he ate some candy. Really.
....So anyway, to get back at the offenders, an Iranian newspaper is taking entries for their 12 best holocaust cartoons contest. You see the reasoning here; if free speech means they can offend us, then we can offend them, hee hee, ha ha, taste of your own medicine, how do you like it, let's all get pissed at each other, you got SERVED, take that, etc etc...
I guess I can see their point, but the holocaust? Are they comparing Mohammed to atrocities commited by the Nazis? Let me see if I have their equation right:
the Prophet Mohammed + looney toon bomb + publishing = pissed off us
so
atrocities commited by the Nazis - looney toon bomb + publishing = pissed off you guys
And just for fun...
+ 
= 
So about the cartoon contest, I can see how it would yield instant offense, but I think I would have approached it differently. Why not just have a Jesus cartoon contest? I mean, diety = diety kind of makes more sense than diety = dead people. Hell, you could probably come up with some pretty poignant cartoons, too. I've got one: President Bush and Tony Blair are loading a massive rail gun, and Jesus is behind Bush handing him a huge bullet that has "Texas brand righteousness" written on the side. There - I just succeeded in offending the west. And I didn't have to shoot anybody.
.
I usually don't cover political issues on this blog unless they deal with chocolate cities, but this whole business with the Mohammed Cartoon War has struck a chord with me, because dammit, I'm a cartoonist.
Naturally I wanted to see what all the rhubarb was about, so I went to Google image search and typed in 'mohammed caricature.' Instead of yielding the said caricature, the search brought up a bunch of photos of angry people, including this guy:
Though it may be a little funny, this is not a caricature, as least not the one I was looking for. So I specified a little more, and eventually found the offending cartoon. Can I run this here? Aw, hell with it:
That's it? This is what people are dying over? It isn't even funny. And it's not like anyone actually uses those big, round, Looney-Toon bombs anymore. But this is what bugs me about political/editorial cartoons. There is a golden rule that goes like this: if you want to piss someone off, draw a diety and then throw in something offensive, like, say, drugs or prostitutes or bombs. So this guy does it, and then gets a whole shitload of joke-validation from the people he set out to offend. "How dare you show a bomb in the hat of our lord!! We will...uh...bomb you!!"
But it's not just the bomb that dropped this proverbial...uh, bomb. The word of the day is iconoclasm, kids, such as what went down in the Byzantine days. It's written in stone somewhere (and I think it actually is) that the Prophet Mohammed's "lifeless image" cannot be depicted anywhere, be it in paintings, statues, or crappy cartoons. So what happens if a non-Muslim scribbles out a drawing of the prophet (sporting a bomb) and gets the drawing published in several newspapers? Well, this:
Is this how religions are supposed to work? At times like this I remember when I went to see the Dalai Llama in Portland, and he was all "Peace and compassion. Let's all just tolerate and celebrate. Love your brothas and sistas. Aaaww yeeeeaah." Then he ate some candy. Really.
....So anyway, to get back at the offenders, an Iranian newspaper is taking entries for their 12 best holocaust cartoons contest. You see the reasoning here; if free speech means they can offend us, then we can offend them, hee hee, ha ha, taste of your own medicine, how do you like it, let's all get pissed at each other, you got SERVED, take that, etc etc...
I guess I can see their point, but the holocaust? Are they comparing Mohammed to atrocities commited by the Nazis? Let me see if I have their equation right:
the Prophet Mohammed + looney toon bomb + publishing = pissed off us
so
atrocities commited by the Nazis - looney toon bomb + publishing = pissed off you guys
And just for fun...
+ = So about the cartoon contest, I can see how it would yield instant offense, but I think I would have approached it differently. Why not just have a Jesus cartoon contest? I mean, diety = diety kind of makes more sense than diety = dead people. Hell, you could probably come up with some pretty poignant cartoons, too. I've got one: President Bush and Tony Blair are loading a massive rail gun, and Jesus is behind Bush handing him a huge bullet that has "Texas brand righteousness" written on the side. There - I just succeeded in offending the west. And I didn't have to shoot anybody.
.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
we are ze robots.
Spectacular Chair Pusher Gundam SXV22 GO!
I just loved this article: Japanese Working on Robot Butler
He may look like a intergalactic battle mech from some anime show, but this advanced humanoid robot doesn't shoot any lazers into giant alien eyeballs. Instead, "he willingly turns on the television with a chest-mounted remote control, and brings a can of drink for you." In other words, he's a bitch-bot. Now all of Japan's hard working robot scientists can sit down on the couch while their creations bring them a beer and turn on the Tigers game. I also like the added touch of the robot repeating your commands, no matter how menial they are.
"Turn on the TV, robot."
"I will turn on the TV."
"Now make me a sandwich, robot."
"I will make you a sandwich."
I know they're just robots, but I still imagine them eventually getting fed up with their commands.
"Now put the sandwich into my mouth and pat my head, robot."
"I will put the goddamn sandwich into your mouth and pat your stupid head."
I think part of it has to do with the way they made the robot look, and I mean like a badass super lazer defender robot. This thing comes off the line thinking it's going to be saving the galaxy, and then finds itself making trips to the fridge. But hey, it's still cool that Japan is actually making robots. Sure, America makes robots too, the kind that blow your kneecaps off, but have you seen what they're doing in Japan? It's almost Bladerunner over there. Dig this-
Asimo - Asimo is just rad. I mean, look! He's playing soccer! And, like, a million people showed up to see the game! That's progress.
Nuvo - In addition to looking cool ( a bit reminiscent of Miyazaki's cartoon robot), these things can dance, which makes them a hundred times cooler. And Endgadget.com even calls them "a great alternative to procreation." You see? Who needs kids when we can have little dancing robots?
Aibo puppys - The Aibo is the world's leading robot dog, if you can believe there is such a thing. Did you know: the Aibo's robo-dog sounds were designed and programmed by the progressive electronic musician Nobukazu Takemura. No, you didn't know. Now you do.
Posy - You may have seen these in the deleted scene from Lost In Translation. Pretty sleek, but a little creepy. I would pee my pants if I found one in my hallway.
Actroid - This robot girl was created by the Kokoro company, which also makes big Tyrannosaurus Rex robots. But nobody cares about those. You can make a thousand lifelike T-Rex robots, but you won't get worldwide attention until you make a girl-in-a-skirt robot.
Ayumi Hamasaki - Actually, most people in Japan believe this is a real person, but I don't buy it. Ayumi Hamasaki is totally artificial. You know how dogs can sense if another dog is real or fake? Well, I think humans can do that to, and this 'famous pop star' just doesn't register on my human scale. She must have Sony written on her somewhere.
Now I would like to point out this:
This robot was made in China. Now, I know a robotic cowboy seems like a cool idea, but we needn't forget the horrible consequences of such a creation escaping human control. To China, I give this message of warning:
.
Spectacular Chair Pusher Gundam SXV22 GO!
I just loved this article: Japanese Working on Robot Butler
He may look like a intergalactic battle mech from some anime show, but this advanced humanoid robot doesn't shoot any lazers into giant alien eyeballs. Instead, "he willingly turns on the television with a chest-mounted remote control, and brings a can of drink for you." In other words, he's a bitch-bot. Now all of Japan's hard working robot scientists can sit down on the couch while their creations bring them a beer and turn on the Tigers game. I also like the added touch of the robot repeating your commands, no matter how menial they are.
"Turn on the TV, robot."
"I will turn on the TV."
"Now make me a sandwich, robot."
"I will make you a sandwich."
I know they're just robots, but I still imagine them eventually getting fed up with their commands.
"Now put the sandwich into my mouth and pat my head, robot."
"I will put the goddamn sandwich into your mouth and pat your stupid head."
I think part of it has to do with the way they made the robot look, and I mean like a badass super lazer defender robot. This thing comes off the line thinking it's going to be saving the galaxy, and then finds itself making trips to the fridge. But hey, it's still cool that Japan is actually making robots. Sure, America makes robots too, the kind that blow your kneecaps off, but have you seen what they're doing in Japan? It's almost Bladerunner over there. Dig this-
Asimo - Asimo is just rad. I mean, look! He's playing soccer! And, like, a million people showed up to see the game! That's progress.
Nuvo - In addition to looking cool ( a bit reminiscent of Miyazaki's cartoon robot), these things can dance, which makes them a hundred times cooler. And Endgadget.com even calls them "a great alternative to procreation." You see? Who needs kids when we can have little dancing robots?
Aibo puppys - The Aibo is the world's leading robot dog, if you can believe there is such a thing. Did you know: the Aibo's robo-dog sounds were designed and programmed by the progressive electronic musician Nobukazu Takemura. No, you didn't know. Now you do.
Posy - You may have seen these in the deleted scene from Lost In Translation. Pretty sleek, but a little creepy. I would pee my pants if I found one in my hallway.
Actroid - This robot girl was created by the Kokoro company, which also makes big Tyrannosaurus Rex robots. But nobody cares about those. You can make a thousand lifelike T-Rex robots, but you won't get worldwide attention until you make a girl-in-a-skirt robot.
Ayumi Hamasaki - Actually, most people in Japan believe this is a real person, but I don't buy it. Ayumi Hamasaki is totally artificial. You know how dogs can sense if another dog is real or fake? Well, I think humans can do that to, and this 'famous pop star' just doesn't register on my human scale. She must have Sony written on her somewhere.
Now I would like to point out this:
This robot was made in China. Now, I know a robotic cowboy seems like a cool idea, but we needn't forget the horrible consequences of such a creation escaping human control. To China, I give this message of warning:
.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
chocolate city!!
There are a few things I could have written about today. I could have done the Robot post, or I could have done the Voices of our Generation post, or I could have talked about my part-time job at a hotel. Actually, I don't have much to say about the hotel job, other than that it exists. But I got a request to address something in the news, something that should be noted and laughed at. That of course being Chocolate City!!
Those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about, let me fill you in. On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the mayor of New Orleans, Ray Nagin, gave a speech to the city honoring Dr. King and giving some reassuring words regarding the reconstruction of areas damaged by hurricane Katrina. He also brought up the subject of the city's black population, using a few choice words and metaphors that were sure to win the hearts and hopes of the citizens: "It's time for us to rebuild a New Orleans, the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans. I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day. This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be."
Mayor Nagin telling his staff to go get some more hollow milk chocolate jazz musicians.
Now, it is widely speculated that Nagin was using chocolate as a euphemism for the large African-American community in New Orleans. Several people got upset, because aside from the statement having a racially divisive connotation, a respected political figure comparing you to a sweet candy treat can be a little disconcerting. However, when asked to clear up what he meant by his remark, the mayor's explanation was pure, rich and creamy:
"How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about. New Orleans was a chocolate city before Katrina. It is going to be a chocolate city after. How is that divisive? It is white and black working together, coming together and making something special."
Yes, something very special, like Yoo-Hoo, or rich, chocolatey Ovaltine. Maybe he's on to something here. Maybe the Hershey's corporation is actually the greatest civil rights promoter in history. We don't need segregation, people! Because when white people and black people come together, we make one big delicious drink! And that's how God wants it to be, He being a divine Willy Wonka.
Mmmmmm...Unity.
Of course, there is always the possibility that he wasn't referring to race at all. Maybe he was really talking about chocolate. Maybe he was simply giving a testimonial on behalf of the city's own Blue Frog Chocolate shop, one of Gambit Weekly's Best of New Orleans 2005. In any case, Nagin's sweet tooth provoked some people enough to start up a website mocking him. At Imnotchocolate.com, you can buy T-shirts and other merchandise featuring a cute Willy Nagin and the Chocolate Factory theme. I'm not chocolate, bitch!
.
There are a few things I could have written about today. I could have done the Robot post, or I could have done the Voices of our Generation post, or I could have talked about my part-time job at a hotel. Actually, I don't have much to say about the hotel job, other than that it exists. But I got a request to address something in the news, something that should be noted and laughed at. That of course being Chocolate City!!
Those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about, let me fill you in. On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the mayor of New Orleans, Ray Nagin, gave a speech to the city honoring Dr. King and giving some reassuring words regarding the reconstruction of areas damaged by hurricane Katrina. He also brought up the subject of the city's black population, using a few choice words and metaphors that were sure to win the hearts and hopes of the citizens: "It's time for us to rebuild a New Orleans, the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans. I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day. This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be."
Mayor Nagin telling his staff to go get some more hollow milk chocolate jazz musicians.
Now, it is widely speculated that Nagin was using chocolate as a euphemism for the large African-American community in New Orleans. Several people got upset, because aside from the statement having a racially divisive connotation, a respected political figure comparing you to a sweet candy treat can be a little disconcerting. However, when asked to clear up what he meant by his remark, the mayor's explanation was pure, rich and creamy:
"How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about. New Orleans was a chocolate city before Katrina. It is going to be a chocolate city after. How is that divisive? It is white and black working together, coming together and making something special."
Yes, something very special, like Yoo-Hoo, or rich, chocolatey Ovaltine. Maybe he's on to something here. Maybe the Hershey's corporation is actually the greatest civil rights promoter in history. We don't need segregation, people! Because when white people and black people come together, we make one big delicious drink! And that's how God wants it to be, He being a divine Willy Wonka.
Mmmmmm...Unity.
Of course, there is always the possibility that he wasn't referring to race at all. Maybe he was really talking about chocolate. Maybe he was simply giving a testimonial on behalf of the city's own Blue Frog Chocolate shop, one of Gambit Weekly's Best of New Orleans 2005. In any case, Nagin's sweet tooth provoked some people enough to start up a website mocking him. At Imnotchocolate.com, you can buy T-shirts and other merchandise featuring a cute Willy Nagin and the Chocolate Factory theme. I'm not chocolate, bitch!
.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Los Angeles pt. 3
I got all dressed up and went in for a group interview with the AEON people. The group interview pretty much consisted of all the applicants giving 5-minute practice lessons which we had prepared ahead of time. It was awkward, but strangely fun. For my 5, I split everyone up into pairs and had them create short dialogues. I did alright, but apparently not alright enough, because I didn't get called back for an individual interview. So I suppose the Japan scheme is out, for now. But not all was lost...
...In my Donald Trump outfit, I got some grub from a small taco shop after the ordeal. And it was good.
Us cousins went to Dan's practice space and did some jamming and recording. Because no trip to LA is complete without the rock'n roll.
Dan gave me a tour of his workplace, where they record the sound for movies and such. He's met such big fookin' celebrities as Bill Murray, Kirsten Dunst and the directer of Ringu. While I was there, some dudes were working on the sound for the new Jackie Chan (or was it Jet Li?) movie in a big theater with control panels. Then I read some lines for the upcoming "Martian Zombie Jetfighters...in Chains".
That sign.
On our last day we had a big super breakfast, complete with vomiting chicken.
Massive props go to Dan (on the left) and Wes (the other guy) for housing and hosting us. And to Phil and Aaron, while I'm at it. Oh, and to Ann for those magic quesadillas.
.
I got all dressed up and went in for a group interview with the AEON people. The group interview pretty much consisted of all the applicants giving 5-minute practice lessons which we had prepared ahead of time. It was awkward, but strangely fun. For my 5, I split everyone up into pairs and had them create short dialogues. I did alright, but apparently not alright enough, because I didn't get called back for an individual interview. So I suppose the Japan scheme is out, for now. But not all was lost...
...In my Donald Trump outfit, I got some grub from a small taco shop after the ordeal. And it was good.
Us cousins went to Dan's practice space and did some jamming and recording. Because no trip to LA is complete without the rock'n roll.
Dan gave me a tour of his workplace, where they record the sound for movies and such. He's met such big fookin' celebrities as Bill Murray, Kirsten Dunst and the directer of Ringu. While I was there, some dudes were working on the sound for the new Jackie Chan (or was it Jet Li?) movie in a big theater with control panels. Then I read some lines for the upcoming "Martian Zombie Jetfighters...in Chains".
That sign.
On our last day we had a big super breakfast, complete with vomiting chicken.
Massive props go to Dan (on the left) and Wes (the other guy) for housing and hosting us. And to Phil and Aaron, while I'm at it. Oh, and to Ann for those magic quesadillas.
.
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