this internet makes no sense.

Hey, kids! Here's a tip:
If my site doesn't show up, go to the address bar and either add or remove the 'www.' This usually works for me. I don't know why, or what's wrong with the address, but that's how it works.

My day of Thanksgiving was a good day. I ate things. Over the weekend I also viewed the second Lord of the Rings film, and I enjoyed it. Magic midgets and tree people. Those tree people sure kicked some ass. I think everybody in the movie should have asked the tree people a long time ago to wipe the floor with the bad guys, because that's apparently what the tree people do best.

Also, I didn't mention that I bought a guitar last week. It is certainly a nice one for $100. I would provide a link to a picture of it, but I couldn't fine any pictures of anything like it on the web. It's from a company called Lyle which apparently specializes in hollow-bodied blues guitars, yet mine is just a standard electric. Anyhoo, I like it.

...and placed in the care of an old eternal bachelor.

Momus's family.
...How 'bout that?

thankgiving.

So Thanksgiving is coming tomorrow. Turkey time in the vegimime.

The very first Thanksgiving was a long time ago when the the Spanish conquistadores visited North America. They had a big feast where the Spanish ate a bunch of indian food and the indians ate a bunch of sword and disease.

So then later the colonists came and set up shop and the the indians were uneasy about these new white people but the Europeans said "Don't worry about us. If we have any problems, we'll just kill you." So then they started trading and had a big super happy Thanksgiving feast and the indians were feeling pretty good until the colonists wanted to expand their settlements and had to sweep away some indian tribes.

So after a while the colonists just told the indians to beat feet out west and play with the western indians. This wasn't such a good idea, however, as the different tribes didn't get along very well.

Anyway, sooner or later people started getting together and having big thankful dinners and calling the day Thanksgiving and attributing it to the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock. And that's why stuffing tastes good with turkey.

ha. ...ha ha ha ha.

Harry Potter is Evil.

Dr. Brett's comment:

No parents, it is not okay to let your children enrich their minds by reading the Harry Potter novels. They are evil, dealing with supernatural subjects and magic spells. However, it is okay to force your children to read a book about a murdered man who rises from the dead to become an all-powerful space ghost and condemns mankind to an eternity of pain and anguish.

the music of the devil.

If you've been to Tristan's site, you've probably found the link to the first 'song' from the project Andy and I are working on. I was going to wait until we had more songs up before posting a link, but what the hell. The song is here.

Captain A and the Sounds of B present an exercise in music and absurd narrative. Coming soon. We haven't decided on an album title yet.

Oh, and I may be posting some live Momus songs on that there site for a nice gentleman in Berlin. Just so you know.

a bit of importance.

For some reason or another Qwest has disconnected my phone line. I pay the bills and everything, but the other day I found that my apartment was cut off from the outside world. So if I don't respond to any emails right away or return any calls, now you know why. I have to come to this damn crowded library to use the internet.

late birthday spirits.

You're the birthday
You're the birthday
You're the birthday
Boy or Girl

Hey Tristan have fun with good birthdy! You've come so long from your behind years of small! I hope things are there that are your happiest thing!

Happy day, Tristan. If you were here, I would take you you water cow hunting. I can only imagine what you're doing over there at Goshen.

Super beans!

to the Peacock: a thieving, frat boy odyssey.

Being 21, I am now mature enough to delve into the immature world of bars. So last weekend a couple o' me mates took me to the most popular bar in town, the Peacock. It only cost me 3 dollars at the door and my jacket.

The first floor is the standard pool hall, where all the older guys in denim jackets with long goatees hang out. The real 'spectacle' is upstairs, where apparently half the population of OSU goes every Thursday. At around 12 everyone gathers on a big dancefloor and attempts to dance to the most obnoxious, offensive hop-hop the charts have to offer. It didn't take long for me to figure out that this place was all about sex. The guys show up to drink enough liquid arrogance in order to go out on the dancefloor and try to attract some drunk sorority girls, whom the guys hope will stumble back to their rooms with them at the end of the night. The girls show up to drink enough so that they no longer object to some intoxicated ass with a backwards hat bumping up against them on the dancefloor. Why? Because it's their role. If they weren't there for the drunken asses to take home, the bar would lose its business and the fraternity institution would cease to exist. Without fraternities, sororities would seem rather pointless and sexist, and they would go extinct as well. Without sororities, the rich girls with bleached hair would be forced to live in dorms, apartments, or other environments that don't deem them as "special", and that would be, like, totally unfair. SO, for their own well-being, these girls must put on short skirts, tube tops and (a certain kind of) boots every weekend and go drink themselves senseless at the Peacock.

Anyway, when I was ready to retire for the evening, I found that my jacket was no longer on the back of the chair where I had placed it. My mate's sweatshirt was gone as well. We stuck around searching for them, even after the bar closed and the lights came on, but to no avail. The bartenders were no help; I don't think they can actually see what goes on outside of the bar.

So that's that. I have other jackets, but I liked that one. It was old and it was warm. And now some other guy's got it. And that's just not good. The end.

things fall apart.

This computer's getting sassy. I think I need to defragment it or kick it or something.

And the damn old messenger won't move out. I downloaded the new version, but the old one won't pack up his things and go. I removed his program from my system and even deleted his shortcut, but he still won't leave. Everytime I get online he starts up on his own and pushes the new messenger out of the way. I always have to sign out on him and sign in on the other, and it's a genuine pain in the ass. The most frustrating thing is that I can't exit him. I try to exit and my computer tells me "Duuuuh, you're using other applications that are, like, using his features." (This, of course, is not true; I think the old messenger pays my computer to say that.) It's like he refuses to go to bed. He just sits on my desktop all the time with a little 'x' in front of him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually a little software spy sent by Bill Gates. Damn nerd! Take your little instant messenger away! He's not wanted here!!

And the radio station screwed me over. I did the apprenticing, I took the test and found a spot for my show, like I was told to, and waited for the people to contact me and tell me what week I start. They never contacted me. One night I went by the station and looked at the big schedule board, and some other guy has my spot now. ALL the spots are taken. I have no show. It was nice of them to email me and tell me, which they didn't.
The lesson I learned from all this is that it is better to do your brother's radio show illegaly than to go through all the training to get your own.

Anyhoo, more news later.

Bill Cosby does another picture page with you.

I took this picture. They're cups.

Does anybody remember that show Picture Pages? Bill cosby would draw stuff on the 'picture pages' with a super amazing future pen that made queer sounds when used. That's all I remenber about the show. I just spelled remember wrong. I like it better the other way.

Well gee, kids, here is a site about Picture Pages. It turns out the pen had a name, Mortimer Ichabod Marker, which is quite possibly the coolest name I've ever heard. What's also cool is that Bill Cosby apparently wore a bunch of t-shirts with drawings of himself on them. This show was the definition of rock & roll.

only Louis and Clarck know.

Something has been driving me downright looney. Do this: go to the google image search. Type in "bear attack" for the keyword. Search. Look at the very first image. What the hell is that??? The link is broken! You can't go to the site, because IT DOESN'T EXIST! The picture seems to be the remnants of a website that documented a bizarre alternate world of Lewis and Clark, which I have dubbed the Louis and Clarck World of Intrigue and Foreboding. In this alternate dimension, the two adventurers look like scarecrows and they trek across a smooth, featureless landscape, tirelessly pursued by a large, akward man in a bear-dog suit. And what's more, apparently postcards existed of the journey, but I sure wouldn't want such a strange image on my fridge.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you. If you further investigate the search results you will find this image, which is equally disturbing.

them ugly banana nut bread.

Look, Tristan! It's your other site! Gee, I didn't know you were taking a film class.

So I had this disturbing dream the other night. In the future, ugly people have realized they are getting the short end of the stick in areas like employment, dating, showbusiness, etc. (this idea may have sprung from what I learned in sociology recently). So the country is divided between ugly people and non-ugly people, kind of like a racial difference. But in my dream, something about accepting the fact that they are ugly has made the people evolve into especially ugly-looking people, with oversized heads and dwarfish bodies. So suddenly the ugly people start rebelling all over across America, attacking non-ugly people and destroying property. I knew something was up when I was riding with Chad and Joel in a car and we drove by a woman in the road yelling at us. When we slowed down a little she tried to pull the car door open, but we sped off. The we noticed there were riots breaking out everywhere. I remember some kind of "action sequence" in which we were in an apartment building fighting for our lives against a bunch of big-headed ugly people, hitting them with chairs and pushing them out of windows. I guess it was kind of unconsciously arrogant of me to automatically see myself and my group of friends as non-ugly people. But you should've seen the people; they were pretty scary.

And here is Friend Bear!

Halloween.

Guess what! I just wrote a whole post about Halloween, but it got lost! You know why?? Because computers suck!! They suck, kids! For many, many reasons!!

Anyway, I saw a Japanese guy dressed as Adolf Hitler and a little kid dressed as an olive, and Andy and I wore creepy animal masks while we drove from Albany to Corvallis. A little girl in a suburban thought it was fantastic.

I don't feel like writing it all over again. I will just say this; Elks clubs are funny.