Deconstructing the Blog
As you can see, I've refurnished this here blog with a Mondrian motif. And I like it.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Thursday, May 22, 2003
T-Shirt Makes the Man
Yesterday I was looking at T-Shirts. Seeing what the kids are wearing these days. Aside from those fake vintage shirts that are all the rage now thanks to American Eagle and Urban Outfitters, some OSU students had interesting threads. The best I saw: a black tee with the words "QUIT WORK MAKE MUSIC". The worst I saw: a sorority's shirt mimicking the "Hooters" logo. And who's complaining about stereotyping?
The prevalent poor t-shirt fashion sense of OSU gave me some ideas of my own in shirt design. Watch my wardrobe for developments.
Yesterday I was looking at T-Shirts. Seeing what the kids are wearing these days. Aside from those fake vintage shirts that are all the rage now thanks to American Eagle and Urban Outfitters, some OSU students had interesting threads. The best I saw: a black tee with the words "QUIT WORK MAKE MUSIC". The worst I saw: a sorority's shirt mimicking the "Hooters" logo. And who's complaining about stereotyping?
The prevalent poor t-shirt fashion sense of OSU gave me some ideas of my own in shirt design. Watch my wardrobe for developments.
Monday, May 19, 2003
"It's like an airplane, sir. But...without wings!"
Maybe I'm doing too much commentary on world events, but dammit, there's so much silly stuff to write about!
Yet another U.S. Helicopter has crashed in Iraq. I'm not even going to link to the article this time. So this is, what, the fifth copter our troops have planted into the ground during this "war"? Isn't becoming a tad obvious that our boys just don't know how to fly them fuckin things? I thought it was morbidly funny when the first big loss for the U.S. in this "war" was one of our helicopters crashing on accident. But when it kept happening over and over, it stopped being funny. It became hilarious! But now it is kind of sad. I can just picture a general briefing his troops over in Iraq: "Okay, we need a helicopter team. Who's in?"
"Not me, sir."
"Someone else, sir."
"I have palsey, sir."
"I get air sick, sir."
"I..um...just don't want to go because we've already lost a whole shitload of marines in copter crashes, sir."
I am guessing it's the air force's job to teach these grunts how to pilot a whirly-bird. So what's going wrong? Maybe all the recruits want to fly jets. Once they get out on that airfield, humming to themselves "high-way-to-the-danger zone", they all sprint to the coolest looking jets they can find. There's always the instructor pleading "c'mon, guys! Doesn't anyone want to learn how to fly a helicopter?" But a cocky young Joe shouts back "helicopters are gay! WOOO!" as he flips the switches in his Tomcat and lifts off. "Take my breath awaaaaaaaay!"
Anyway, thanks to movies like "Apocalypse Now" and the G.I. Joe franchise, I think helicopters are pretty cool. And that's my final thought.
Maybe I'm doing too much commentary on world events, but dammit, there's so much silly stuff to write about!
Yet another U.S. Helicopter has crashed in Iraq. I'm not even going to link to the article this time. So this is, what, the fifth copter our troops have planted into the ground during this "war"? Isn't becoming a tad obvious that our boys just don't know how to fly them fuckin things? I thought it was morbidly funny when the first big loss for the U.S. in this "war" was one of our helicopters crashing on accident. But when it kept happening over and over, it stopped being funny. It became hilarious! But now it is kind of sad. I can just picture a general briefing his troops over in Iraq: "Okay, we need a helicopter team. Who's in?"
"Not me, sir."
"Someone else, sir."
"I have palsey, sir."
"I get air sick, sir."
"I..um...just don't want to go because we've already lost a whole shitload of marines in copter crashes, sir."
I am guessing it's the air force's job to teach these grunts how to pilot a whirly-bird. So what's going wrong? Maybe all the recruits want to fly jets. Once they get out on that airfield, humming to themselves "high-way-to-the-danger zone", they all sprint to the coolest looking jets they can find. There's always the instructor pleading "c'mon, guys! Doesn't anyone want to learn how to fly a helicopter?" But a cocky young Joe shouts back "helicopters are gay! WOOO!" as he flips the switches in his Tomcat and lifts off. "Take my breath awaaaaaaaay!"
Anyway, thanks to movies like "Apocalypse Now" and the G.I. Joe franchise, I think helicopters are pretty cool. And that's my final thought.
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Spit for your Forefathers
"Spitting, backed by a common belief that frequent internal cleansing is good for your health, has a long history in China." That's right; the nation of China was founded on the right to spit. Emperor Ming Mu, some 800 years ago, was walking up the palace steps to inherit his political power when he turned and spit on a civilian baby. A hush fell over the crowd of onlooking thousands. Then cheers broke out as everyone remembered how important it is to cleanse your insides frequently. The mother of the wet, baffled child had tears of pride in her eyes knowing that the emperor had chosen her offspring as a target for his saliva. In modern China, it was a common site to see people walking down the street spitting on things. Parents taught their children how to maximize the force and distance of an expelled loogey, telling them "spitting holds an important place in China's history. Now spit!" But recently, with the emergence of SARS, Chinese citizens began noticing that whenever they spit, people around them would fall over dead. In more serious cases, spit units were reported to have changed into a bomb-like shape after leaving a person's mouth. So they passed a law. Now, the fine for spitting is $24. This has made Chinese citizens very selective in choosing what to spit on. Also, it's a good threat; if someone pisses you off, all you need do is make that *hoooiiik* noise and flash 24 bucks, and your opponent will back off, fearing for his life.
Strangely enough, officials are now saying that the epidemic is receding. Now that people are keeping their spit urges repressed, the virus is not spreading as rapidly. It's like the ultimate manners lesson:
"Now now, Jimmy. Don't spit."
"Aww, why not, Mrs. Thabernackle?"
"Because if you keep doing it, Jimmy, all of your friends will fall victim to a deadly virus that crushes the life out of their lungs."
"...Oh. Okay."
"Spitting, backed by a common belief that frequent internal cleansing is good for your health, has a long history in China." That's right; the nation of China was founded on the right to spit. Emperor Ming Mu, some 800 years ago, was walking up the palace steps to inherit his political power when he turned and spit on a civilian baby. A hush fell over the crowd of onlooking thousands. Then cheers broke out as everyone remembered how important it is to cleanse your insides frequently. The mother of the wet, baffled child had tears of pride in her eyes knowing that the emperor had chosen her offspring as a target for his saliva. In modern China, it was a common site to see people walking down the street spitting on things. Parents taught their children how to maximize the force and distance of an expelled loogey, telling them "spitting holds an important place in China's history. Now spit!" But recently, with the emergence of SARS, Chinese citizens began noticing that whenever they spit, people around them would fall over dead. In more serious cases, spit units were reported to have changed into a bomb-like shape after leaving a person's mouth. So they passed a law. Now, the fine for spitting is $24. This has made Chinese citizens very selective in choosing what to spit on. Also, it's a good threat; if someone pisses you off, all you need do is make that *hoooiiik* noise and flash 24 bucks, and your opponent will back off, fearing for his life.
Strangely enough, officials are now saying that the epidemic is receding. Now that people are keeping their spit urges repressed, the virus is not spreading as rapidly. It's like the ultimate manners lesson:
"Now now, Jimmy. Don't spit."
"Aww, why not, Mrs. Thabernackle?"
"Because if you keep doing it, Jimmy, all of your friends will fall victim to a deadly virus that crushes the life out of their lungs."
"...Oh. Okay."
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
"Japanese/English Ear Canal Translator"
Don't ask me how I found this (how do I find any of these fuckin sites?). There are a lot of American nerds with ponytails and computers who spend an unreasonable amount of time expressing their sci-fi/anime fantasies in the form of poorly drawn online comics and poorly written "fan-fiction" stories. But David Gonterman has achieved psuedo-star status amongst these people, namely for being exceptionally, consistently terrible at what he does.
Click here to find out a little about him, or click here to read a chapter from one of the best goddamn stories ever written.
Don't ask me how I found this (how do I find any of these fuckin sites?). There are a lot of American nerds with ponytails and computers who spend an unreasonable amount of time expressing their sci-fi/anime fantasies in the form of poorly drawn online comics and poorly written "fan-fiction" stories. But David Gonterman has achieved psuedo-star status amongst these people, namely for being exceptionally, consistently terrible at what he does.
Click here to find out a little about him, or click here to read a chapter from one of the best goddamn stories ever written.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Monday, May 05, 2003
Turn The World Upside Down!
I'm pretty sure the Japanese midterm I took a few minutes ago confirmed my shitty grade for the class. It's just too much. Direct style affirmative-imperfective? Fuck that, sensei. I might have trouble memorizing 3 pages of words for every session.
But everyone says "don't let things like that get you down." And that's a good idea, so rather than feeling like I failed, I am going to feel like I won. That's right, let's celebrate! All this week we can celebrate my low standing in all my classes. A bad grade in Art History? Have a drink! It's not often things bomb so badly, so let's sieze the moment and party hard. Come, chums! A shot for every point I missed today! We'll beat the candy out of a big pinata 'F'. Imagine, if the whole world was like this, things would be...crazy!
Anyhoo, I have to go type an essay. If I get a bad grade, we'll roll out the Twister mat!
I'm pretty sure the Japanese midterm I took a few minutes ago confirmed my shitty grade for the class. It's just too much. Direct style affirmative-imperfective? Fuck that, sensei. I might have trouble memorizing 3 pages of words for every session.
But everyone says "don't let things like that get you down." And that's a good idea, so rather than feeling like I failed, I am going to feel like I won. That's right, let's celebrate! All this week we can celebrate my low standing in all my classes. A bad grade in Art History? Have a drink! It's not often things bomb so badly, so let's sieze the moment and party hard. Come, chums! A shot for every point I missed today! We'll beat the candy out of a big pinata 'F'. Imagine, if the whole world was like this, things would be...crazy!
Anyhoo, I have to go type an essay. If I get a bad grade, we'll roll out the Twister mat!
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