Tuesday, May 25, 2004

maintaining the alligator farm.

I fixed the archives, so now you can go back and read old posts from this eblo. That's what I've been doing. But it's a shame the old templates don't come up anymore. Those retro old days when there was burgundy and dark green and blue...

By the way, here's a link back by popular demand. Behold!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

video pic of the week.

Recently I saw the films Elephant and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Elephant is good. Very well made. It makes you think, but that seemed to be its weakness; the viewer is left to mentally fill in the holes, and there are a lot. I think the theatrical preview (included on the DVD) gave as much information and story as the entire film itself, and that's not saying that the preview was long or informative. But I did see Kyle Warren. Way to go, Kyle- you're in a movie where you probably get shot.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is great. I recommend it. Y'all should see it.


Elephant


Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Oooohh, satellite!

Hey, all you midgets check out Andy's new eblo. It's FRESH. Also, there is a new song on my music page that you should enjoy. More fun with Sesame Street.

Last night I watched Zardoz with Andy and Chad. Quite a movie. The other day we were brainstorming a list of Movies for Us (stupid/genius movies that you must see if you want to be...well, us.) That list went something like this:
Zardoz
Flash Gordon
Bejond the Valley of the Dolls
The Wicker Man

maybe Equinox, and maybe The Dark At the Top of the Stairs

These are movies so bad/confusing/senseless that they are heelarious and worth watching again and again. Check them out from your local library.

Monday, May 10, 2004

fish system: more fun with web translation.

This new blogger design will take some getting used to. In the meantime, let's see what Emi Necozawa has been writing in her web diary:

"How thinking, forgetting the composition of the assignment which the cod sure enough, with special care you do in the house, it attends class."

"When the man where in the underpants your own name have entered with the magic you know each other, whether just a little good impression. (How probably will be?)"

"There being the tomato boiling of the squid in the present menu, you eat. It is tasty? Fish system is tasty after all."

"So when it does, the mummy taking in the mummy. You found with the travelling bag corner of 2 F. Very, you use, the appealing Boston bag of the selfishness."

"Because bean jam ball you are bad, the extent which changed the wallet. Lose 4 time cards at half year and fold, the professional of procedure it became. It is quick, it is quick."

Man, she must lead an interesting life. Thanks, Babelfish!

Friday, May 07, 2004

can't spell "friends" without 'crap'.

I'm not going to write about the last episode of Friends. I'm going to write about a stupid television show which didn't understand that adding heaping amounts of sappy drama to a sitcom completely sucks the comedy out of it. Not that there was much comedy to begin with; every joke could be seen from a mile away, and even through binoculars they were not funny in the least. But now the thing is over, and a whole generation of girls are panicking becouse they have nothing idiotic to talk about with their real-life friends anymore. I never watched the damn show. I heard there was a "plot twist" at the end, probably having to do with a goddam baby or someone else's baby or some baby that they found on the street, and that's not much of a twist because a baby is a classic cliche "twist" to add to any story. I would have only been satisfied if the twist was something like "it turned out Crandler was dead the whole time!" or "it turns out Nomica was the one who bombed the building and sabotaged the train!" or how about "it turns out Jonny realized that his friends were a bunch of annoying retards and so he dawned a predator mask and tore out their skulls and spines!"

In other news, school has been putting me in a clinically bad mood.
I will get you you will pay I hope you know. I am a vampire to you. I will sneak up to you. I am bad bad bad

Wednesday, May 05, 2004




Monday, May 03, 2004

how to get and stay famous.

Yesterday Joel, Alexio and I attended a multi-cultural free food extravaganza on the OSU campus. The day included eating free tamales, drinking free soda, Alexio playing air guitar on an empty stage, eating more free tamales, crude remarks by all, drinking more free soda, and Alexio entering a bush with his face.

I had an idea for getting famous, inspired by William Hung. Apparently the American recording industry has enough money lying around that they can take some talentless kid and give him a couple thousand dollars to perpetuate his reputation as a national idiot. I know plenty people who actually do have talent who could use that record deal, but I guess they're not as ethnic and easy to ridicule. So here's my new plan: I will go to the next American Idol auditions and sing "Kiss" by Prince through a kazoo while wearing a vintage baseball uniform. I'll have to make them think that I am completely serious about my talents, so I will act really confident and then genuinely confused when the English guy, the fat guy, and the has-been pop star tell me that I suck. Then, to ensure that my failure video will be shown again and again, I will do something completely outrageous like releasing a live hamster and chasing it around the studio with a mallet. Then I'll tell the English guy to change his shirt and get escorted off the premises by security. 3 months later, I will be a star.