how to get and stay famous.
Yesterday Joel, Alexio and I attended a multi-cultural free food extravaganza on the OSU campus. The day included eating free tamales, drinking free soda, Alexio playing air guitar on an empty stage, eating more free tamales, crude remarks by all, drinking more free soda, and Alexio entering a bush with his face.
I had an idea for getting famous, inspired by William Hung. Apparently the American recording industry has enough money lying around that they can take some talentless kid and give him a couple thousand dollars to perpetuate his reputation as a national idiot. I know plenty people who actually do have talent who could use that record deal, but I guess they're not as ethnic and easy to ridicule. So here's my new plan: I will go to the next American Idol auditions and sing "Kiss" by Prince through a kazoo while wearing a vintage baseball uniform. I'll have to make them think that I am completely serious about my talents, so I will act really confident and then genuinely confused when the English guy, the fat guy, and the has-been pop star tell me that I suck. Then, to ensure that my failure video will be shown again and again, I will do something completely outrageous like releasing a live hamster and chasing it around the studio with a mallet. Then I'll tell the English guy to change his shirt and get escorted off the premises by security. 3 months later, I will be a star.
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