More News

I have moved out of my apartment. That's news.

Also, I saw the movie "Finding Nemo". Easily the best one I've seen recently. You have to check it out. You just have to.

Also, Bob Hope is dead. Can you believe it? I thought he was just gonna go on forever. So who will take his place as the army's official smart-ass? That young buck Don Rickles?

Also, Tristan is on his way to Pantastic Land. Or Indiana, whatever you call it. I told him he should start up his own "eblo" just like mine, as should everyone reading this, because it's so damned easy. It's quicker and easier than...getting a shot!

I don't have much to report at this time. I'm going to go figure out how to play my ukulele.

News

I've been in California for a couple days. I'm back now. That's the news for today.

Music Showcase with John Louie

Sunday I saw Clem Snide, the Long Winters, and the Carolines at the Wow Hall. Here's the rundown:

The Carolines- sucked
The Long Winters- better, but kind of sucked
Clem Snide- good, but I'd never buy their albums

There was, of course, a superfan up in front rocking out to Clem Snide. Normally I don't mind it when a guy rocks out to a band, but it was Clem Snide. They don't rock out. They reflect, they express, they emote, they play well crafted country-rock. They don't really kick out the jams. But hell, this guy did, and even ended up onstage singing a duet with the lead guy. So good for him.

I suppose superfans always feel that they have the right to slam-dance at their favorite band's shows. I wouldn't be surprised if I went to a Yanni concert and saw a long-haired guy in flannel up against the stage bangin' his head.

"The other is busy holding loo roll next to ear to catch drips."

The Secret Monkey Experience. I like reading this guys blog just because he uses a lot of British slang.

"Well find ya a woman...And gun her down good!"

Oh, man. Vegas just continues to beef up its reputation as the in-all-ways-wrong-entertainment capital of the world.

"Bambi Hunts". It was probably some guy's lifelong dream: start up a game in which rich guys pay $10,000 to chase nude women around the countryside with a paint-ball gun. Normally, common sense would have led him to think "Nah, there wouldn't be any girls that stupid or guys that depraved to go through with it." But wait! Sir, you're in Las Vegas U.S.A., and those are the kinds of people that keep the city alive! So badda bing; before long the guy's dream is a perverse, ludicrous reality.

And of course people are gonna be pissed off about it. If he had started any other business that got him in hot water, he could've said "at least I'm not having men pay to hunt down naked women" and landed on his feet. But this little entrepreneurial venture is so deep in the gutter that there's little anyone can say to defend it, save for a phrase like �These are just fun guys who thought they had done everything, ridden everything and hunted everything." Well shit! If they're just a bunch of fun lovin' good ol' boys, let loose the women!

This is the kind of thing that keeps feminists alive. You can just picture one sitting around bored until she turns on the news and sees something like this. Then she yells "We got one!" and hits a buzzer, and all the other feminists in the house perk up and slide down firehouse poles to hop on the Anti-Oppression Mobile. "Let's roll, girls!"

It says in this article that one of the game's "prey" admitted that she cried after being hit in the posterior by one of the paint-loaded pellets. I'm sorry, but I just can't feel sorry for this girl. I suppose when she signed up for the job she thought "running around naked eluding gun-wielding men" actually meant serving drinks in a posh bar or standing on a pedestal while rich young bachelors say "I respect you as a woman." It would be easy to end this objectifying, evil business if the guys behind it actually kidnapped these women and forced them to be the prey, but these women do it voluntarily. I think if a young woman sees playing the part of a two legged, hairless deer as a good job opportunity then she probably deserves to be gunned down with paintballs.

But even if this Bambi Hunting thing does kick the bucket (ha...as if it won't), chances are it won't be down for long; the Fox network is always looking for another degrading reality show concept...

Things I've Seen

I've seen some things recently. I will tell you about them.

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of nacho whatever. I liked it. Even though Jerry Bruckheimer was the producer it doesn't suck, and it doesn't feature any slow-motion American flag shots that have come to be his trademark. Pirates are cool, dammit! And the movie is just built around that fact. By the end of the film, all the characters love pirates. And why not? I mean, they steal, murder, smell bad, rape...they're just all-around lovable. And Johnny Depp is pretty entertaining, taking his Hunter S. Thompson persona out of the closet and dressing it in pirate clothes.

I also saw 28 Days Later: The Pirated Laptop Version on Adi's laptop. It was alright. That's pretty much all I can say. There's not really anything wrong with the movie, but there's nothing outstanding about it, either. I just feel like there could have been more. I think they should make another movie focusing on someone who doesn't wake up quite so late in the action. They could call it 18 Days Later. Then maybe the antagonists would actually be zombies instead of a bunch of horny soldiers.

Then there is the Electric 6 video Gay Bar. It's the kind of video that is so senseless and stupid you wonder if it's okay to laugh. Well, I laughed. I couldn't help but compare it to all those Wierd Al videos that try sooo hard to be funny but just end up mundane and dumb. Electric 6 seem to be specialists in making videos that don't try at all. It's like watching the first idea one of them had after finishing a bottle of vodka.

Porcupine Pie.

poop

"One time I secretly placed a fake "poop" on their bed. When I heard the screams I knew they had found it. After showing them it was fake, they started laughing so hard. The next day they sheepishly wanted to know where I had gotten it so they could get some poop of their own. That was not the last of the poop, though. On their last day, after they had gotten on the bus, the teacher told us of her most memorable moment in class, when Ayami and Megumi were recounting the story in their best English in front of the class. However, they could not come up with an English word for poop that anyone understood. Finally, Ayami said "fake sh__" and everybody understood! The whole class erupted in laughter. "

No Title

Momus visits that new retro-hip McDonalds I talked about a while back. The picture of him with Ronald McDonald and the retarded kid is priceless.

There are a bunch of little kids running around today. It seems during the summer there are always little kids running around OSU, but today there are more than usual. I don' t know what they want. In front of one building they seem to be erecting wooden cows. Maybe it's some kind of pagan thing.

My summer term ends tomorrow. Japanese Culture ended last week, but Theater went on for another. I will be reading/reciting the monologue at the end of "The Glass Menagerie" as my part of a group theater project. I wish I could do it with a sword; I feel like theater monologues can only be done right if you have a sword to wave around. Maybe I will write my own play, and have the characters pull swords out of nowhere whenever they go into a monologue. Or hell, just give them swords to hold for every second of the play, even if there is no fighting and it takes place in modern day. I could call it "The Sword Menagerie", or just plain "We Have Swords". And it would have to be a musical, but instead of singing, the characters would play harmonicas. Hm... That might be hard to do if they are holding swords. Well, anyway, if you have any ideas on how to make "We Have Swords" the best play in history, feel free to comment.

VOIP!

This is Adi's photo site. Adi is my Indonesian associate, and he takes damn-good pictures. I can't see why he's majoring in computer-industrial-engineering-booglarizing-physics...or whatever it is. He could be the next [insert name of famous photgrapher besides Ansel Adams here].

I figure I should give my thoughts on a growing phenomenon, just so y'all know that I'm hip to what's...hip:
Homestarrunner.com is worth checking out, if only for the Teen Girl Squad comics/cartoons. I'm not saying it's the best thing since the ass-spike, but I have gotten some good laughs out of it.

The Plum Frog

Since everyone is using the term "blog" as a shortening of "weblog" nowadays, I am going to be different and call this page my "eblo" from now on. Doesn't it sound more ethnic?

So last night I had this dream. I can't remember all of it, but the first part dealt with me finding a little tiny pond creature and taking it home as a pet. Chad told me it would die soon, but we were both surprized at how long it ended up living. What started out as a little planaria-type thing grew into more of a frog type thing, with amazing tree climbing abilities. I had him on an exclusive plum diet. He would climb trees and eat plums and I would stand below and say "that's a good frog-pond-thing." Then I ended up being on the news for having this creature that climbed trees and ate plums; I guess it was considered extraordinary in the dream world.

The second half of the dream involved me and some other students taking some sort of tour around a surreal college campus. We all had boxes of Triscuits, and this other guy kept looking at my box in a suspicious manner. I never found out what his problem was.

Recently I've been browsing other people's blogs. Other people are so interesting.

From Justin to Psychic Roaches

I was just reading some other guy's blog and he posted this little something he read somewhere:

"There's a story that when the cockroach sees another insect trying to attack it, it becomes so mortified with fright that the image of that insect freezes in its mind. Due to the intense ideation of the form of its enemy, the enemy actually sees the cockroach as one of its own kind. In other words, the vibration emanating from the cockroach's mind influences its enemy's mind into thinking that it is a member of its own species. Thus the cockroach is saved from death, since the insect will not attack one of its own kind. "

All I have to say about that is... Crazy.

So anyway, what's up with that From Justin to Kelly movie? I got so wrapped up in Charlie's Angels 2 sucking that I almost let it this other movie slip by without complaining about it. Just for the record, I don't know if I would say From J to K is quite as bad as Charlie's Angels. Whereas CA tries to act like it is an action movie rather than just a bunch of crap onscreen, I'm pretty sure the former is quite aware that it is just a bunch of crap onscreen. What else would it be?

Okay, this time I will try something different. I will look at it from an admiring perspective, as if i actually saw the movie and liked it. *Ahem*

From Justin to Kelly is the best movie I've seen all year. If there's one thing I want to see in a movie, it's an American Idol winner and a loser flaunting money and dancing around and singing. I just love the movie. And i love the singing. There's this one song that is so great, I almost cried and slapped the person sitting next to me. Justin is so cute. His hair is all frizzy and stupid and great. Kelly is a good singer; I am so glad that they let her star in her own movie. She is the greatest goddamn actress since Ingrid Borgnine, or whatever her name is. She could also be president. They should let her be president. And they should make her into a robot so that she doesn't die. And then they should make the robot have sex with Justin and repopulate the earth with perfect singing frizzy-haired people. This movie is so good, it is better than my dog.

...Maybe that wasn't what a real fan would say, but it would have to be pretty close, right? I mean, this movie isn't just stupid. It really makes me wonder; could no one involved in its production think of a better way to spend a couple million dollars? I mean, this Kelly girl became an American Idol a whole year ago, so of course she is not still regarded as one. And why the hell is that Justin guy even in it? I think the only redeeming factor that would have made this movie worth seeing is if Kelly continually addressed Justin as "the loser".

Ah! I can't do it anymore. This movie is too easy to criticize. I'm going to go find something worth writing about.

Real Ultimate Power

I have two links for you today. First, there's this guys site, who uses the same template as I do, but that's not what makes him special. What is significant about this site is that the Cloy Harlequin is referenced. I don't know this guy, and I had never been to his page, but he used opinions expressed on my site to back up his point. Isn't that rad?? That's what rocks your socks about having your own webpage. So check it out; you can use that "find" doohickey to locate where he namedrops the Cloy Harlequin.

Second, here is the Official Ninja Webpage. It's just as cool as it sounds, and cooler, so go and read and laugh and make funny internet delicious thing!

A Naked Woman and a Flying Dog

Hey, wanna see a naked woman and a flying dog? You would probably like to see a naked woman and a flying dog. Who wouldn't want to see a naked woman and a flying dog? I don't know!

So now, I give you, a naked woman and a flying dog.

Never Approach a Squirrel on Drugs

I was surfing the internet recently, looking for the taboo and the bizarre, and I couldn't help but take note of what a blessing the World Wide Web is. Businesses can flourish online, blogs and personal websites can inform friends and relatives of one's wherabouts, and small organizations can get their word out into the world and gain notariety that would otherwise be unattainable. Case in point: the S.A.P.P. (Squirrel Attack Prevention Program). These boys have started up this site to warn people of the growing threat posed by squirrels. One of the creators even takes the time to assure us "I am the opposite of cool", so we know that they are not doing it for any kind of personal glory; this is a labor of brotherly concern. And I, for one, appreciate the warning. Thank you, brave sirs Matthew and Derrik. (Be sure to check out the anti-squirrel gear.)