Caws Radio

I'm gonna make this quick, because it's finals week.

Aww, c'mon. You all know how this war is going to turn out. Saddam's going to attack the U.S. with all his homemade tanks and mail-away guns, and the American troops with their helmets on backwards are going to press the big red buttons in their cloaked, flying tanks that send heat-seeking lazer missles blasting at the speed of light towards anyone in the area with Iraqi DNA. Saddam's gonna say "Shit, nig," and order all of his forces to retreat into the mountains. Bush will take his cigar out of his mouth long enough to say "let's persue them bastards" and the U.S. forces will give chase, only to find a secret Saddam-La land hidden in the canyons of Iraq. Our boys in green will be caught off-guard by giant mutant insects and genetically modified soldiers that fly and attack with big metal fish, but Bush will use his Microsoft brand heat-ray to incinerate his way deep into Saddam's lair. There he will find that the Iraqi president's leading scientists have been combining the DNA of history's greatest tyrants to make the most powerful leader the world has ever known. The genetic frankenstein will throw an evil snake at Bush and mortally wound him, but the villian will then come to the realization that he has no mother and father and turn his evil powers on himself, meeting death by his own hand. Saddam, meanwhile, will admit to Bush that they are in fact half-brothers and proceed to nurse the American president back to health, who will in turn draw a silver .44 from his holster and blast Saddam's brains out. Then he'll say "yee haw!" and do the curl-leaf shuffle. The End.